The Great Lengths of Remy LeBeau
by Midnight Auroua
Summary: He said he would blow up the Statue of Liberty to see her in pink knee high socks. They thought he was exaggerating. They should have known Remy was not a man to exaggerate. Mini-sequel to Knee High Socks.


**It's a mini-sequel to Knee High Socks! Yayyyyyyyyy! **

**I have to thank BlueFox for the idea. If BlueFox hadn't suggested it, it wouldn't exist. BlueFox even gave me several lines that appear in this little thank you. Which is why I dedicate this to you, TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba. **

**Everyone else, I hope you enjoy. Much love!**

**XXXXX**

He said he would blow up the Statue of Liberty to see her in pink knee high socks. He even expressed this sentiment to Rogue, who had laughed him off. She even told him if he actually did it, she would put on those socks. She laughed some more. She thought he was exaggerating.

They should have known Remy LeBeau was not a man to exaggerate.

XXXXX

Mick gaped at the man seated across from him.

"…."

"What?"

"You're serious?"

"Um…_oui_."

The federal agent tore his hands through his hair, where he was probably going to have a bald spot after awhile.

"Explain this to me again, Remy."

They long ago became on a first name basis.

Remy waved his hand, as if that was all the explanation he needed. Mick was still shocked at the blasé way Remy had handled the whole situation. He didn't seem to realize what he had done was so terribly wrong. He was so convinced that his actions were justified, he was dumbfounded as to why he was in trouble in the first place.

"I'm tellin' ya, Mick. Just bring the _femme_ in here, and you'll get it. Matter fact, leave her wit' me along with your handcuffs and those socks I was tellin' you about."

Mick sighed, letting his face drop into his hands. Remy observed him with eyes that were quietly curious. He tilted his head to the side.

"Remy?" Mick said, his voice muffled.

"_Oui_?"

"I want to get this straight. So let me know if I got this right, okay?"

"_Oui_."

"You met a girl while working for the terrorist Magneto?"

"_Oui_."

"You attempted to blow this girl's hand off?"

"_Oui_."

"Later, you kidnapped this girl, Rogue, so she could help you get your kidnapped father back?"

"_Oui_."

"During this kidnapping, you started having feelings for the girl?"

_"Oui_."

"But you couldn't act on these feelings because you were occupied with an arranged marriage to, and let me make sure I've got this right, 'a spawn of Satan with blonde hair and red lipstick?'"

"You forgot the part where she was bat shit insane."

"My apologies."

"But _oui_, you got the story right thus far."

"At the altar, you decided to tell both families to shove their marriage contracts 'where the sun don't shine' and ran out of Louisiana like your life depended on it?"

"Which it did."

"You then came back to New York where you stalked the girl for awhile?"

"_Oui_."

"Eventually, you joined the X-Men."

"_Oui_."

"All the while, you were trying to figure out if another teammate was a spy."

"_Oui_."

"At the same time, you were trying to 'woo' Rouge with your 'masculine wiles' and 'washboard abs'?"

"_Oui_."

"You mentioned something about a motorcycle and chocolate syrup."

Remy grinned. "_Oui_."

"One day you saw Rogue in knee high socks. It was a sight that…what was the word?"

"Enthralled."

"That's right. Enthralled you."

"After you two got together and she admitted her 'passionate, undying love' to you, you mentioned how you would like to see her in pink knee high socks?"

"_Oui_."

"She laughed and said no."

"_Oui_."

"You said that you wanted to see her in pink socks—"

"_Knee _high socks."

"—so badly that you would blow up the Statue of Liberty."

"_Oui_."

"So you blew up the Statue of Liberty."

"_Oui._"

Remy stared at Mick. Mick stared back. He had been a federal agent for twelve years now. He'd seen and heard everything.

Except this.

He couldn't even find himself being mad at Remy LeBeau. Sure, he had blown up the _Statue of frickin' Liberty_, but not for any malicious reasons. And while his reasons had not been exactly…pure, he didn't even appear to know what was wrong with his actions. Remy LeBeau was a good man. Odd, in love, lustful, and completely oblivious to the levity of his actions.

But a good man.

But this case in particular was going to be the end of him.

Mick lifted his tired blue eyes to Remy's inquisitive black and red ones. He pressed his hands flat on the table, trying to keep his tone even.

"Remy, understand that I will not be the one to explain to the President your reasoning for doing that."

"But…" He pouted. "The socks are _pink_."

How was he supposed to respond to _that_?

Luckily for Mick, someone knocked on the door. Moments later, another agent, Brown, poked her head in the door. She looked as baffled by the situation as he felt. She glanced at Remy, who waved at her in a genuinely friendly member. She blinked before waving back.

"What is it, Brown?"

She tore her gaze from Remy LeBeau. "Um…we have guests."

"Who?"

"Charles Xavier, Henry McCoy, and a woman who just calls herself…Rogue."

Mick watched as Remy's eyes lit up. "Rogue? Rogue's here? Where is she? Can I see her?"

Both agents ignored him.

"What are they doing here?" Mick asked. He had been interrogating Remy for over three hours and he didn't feel like dealing with his teammates.

"Well…" Brown hesitated. She was watching Remy squirm in his chair with excitement. "They're here to collect LeBeau."

_"What!"_

"This means I get to go home? I get to see _Cherie_?"

Again, he was ignored.

"He's leaving?" Mick demanded.

"Yes."

"_How_?"

"Well, Xavier talked to the boss. Apparently, Mr. LeBeau was doing the country a service."

He just stared at Brown, who was still staring at Remy. "By blowing up the Statue of Liberty."

"Hey! I only blew the head off!" Remy chimed in. He was not acknowledged.

"Well, according to Xavier," Brown went on, "a group of terrorist mutants had equipped the Statue with a weapon that they were planning on using against the entire state of New York. Mr. LeBeau became aware of their plan and…well. He blew the head off the Statue."

Mick just stared at her.

"Then why have I been in here for _three hours _listening to him talk about socks?"

"Pink knee high socks, Mick. Don' forget. They're _pink_."

"Because before we caught Mr. LeBeau, the group of terrorist mutants managed to brainwash Remy. They didn't want to be exposed so they brainwashed Mr. LeBeau to prevent their exposure. His story about pink knee high socks is a result of them tampering with his mind."

Mick knew bull shit when he heard it. He turned to look back at Remy. The X-Man smiled and waved.

"Hi."

"Anyway," Brown went on, "Xavier is going to clear up the issues in Mr. LeBeau's brain while his team searches for the mutants. Xavier explained the whole thing to the boss and he bought it. Xavier even offered to repair the Statue, good as new. So Mr. LeBeau is free to go."

Mick looked between Brown (who was clearly giving Remy eyes) to Remy. Remy, who was still bouncing around in his seat, his eyes in search of the girl who was the cause of the day's fiascos.

"Remy."

The Cajun looked at him, grinning broadly. Across the room, Brown swooned. "_Oui_?"

"Is what Agent Brown told me true?"

"Um…." His brow furrowed for a moment. Then, seeming to realize Xavier had bailed his ass out, he nodded furiously. "Oh. Um. _Oui_. It's true. The whole truth and nothin' but the truth." He lifted his hand. "Thief's honor."

"Isn't that an oxymoron?"

He just smirked.

Mick was ready to call it quits when a new voice called out softly from the hallway. "Can I come in?"

"Sure. Why not? The more the merrier."

Moments later, a girl poked her head in the room. Across from Mick, Remy LeBeau all but squealed with glee. From the perturbed look in her flashing green eyes, white bangs, and lovely face, Mick assumed that this was the woman who was responsible for the beheading of the Statue of Liberty.

"Roguey!"

She glared at Remy. But when she turned to look at Mick, she plastered the friendliest smile on her face. It was downright dazzling.

"I'm here for the swamp rat, Agent Kauffman."

"Swamp Rat?"

"Oh." She laughed. "I'm sorry. That's what I call Remy."

"It's affectionate," Remy insisted.

"Shut up, Swamp Rat. Mr. Kauffman, do you mind if I take him out of your hair?"

"Be my guest, Miss….?"

"Rogue. Just Rogue."

"Well, he's all yours, Rogue."

Remy beamed. Even when Rogue stomped across the room, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out the door, he never stopped smiling. In fact, just before he was yanked into the hallway, Remy LeBeau gave Mick Kauffman a thumbs up.

It officially qualified as the strangest day of his life.

XXXXX

Remy was sick of being yelled at.

He had been yelled at all day. Rogue yelled at him, which was okay because she was sexy when she was angry. And Rogue had been very angry. But then Charlie yelled at him. Something about how upset he was about having to lie and telepathically persuade a federal agent to let Remy go. Then Wolvie yelled at him. Wolvie seemed to like yelling at him. His arresting officers yelled at him a lot. The only person who hadn't yelled at him was Mick.

But Mick had just seemed confused. Kept asking him the same questions over and over and over again. How many times to Remy have to say it? He blew the head off the Statue of Liberty so he could see Rogue in pink knee high socks.

It was simple as that.

But for some reason, everyone seemed really mad at him. Which was ridiculous. It wasn't like he blew up the _entire_ statue. And the X-Men had fished the head out of the water. It would be reattached by tomorrow. Remy was going to help Charlie pay for any damage done to the head while it was floating around the water. Everyone thought the X-Men had done the state a favor by blowing the head off, which was total bologna. But whatever. The Statue would be fine.

Good as new.

So why was everyone so angry?

Remy continued to muse on this, lying on his back on Rogue's bed. It was late, really late, and most of the mansion had gone to bed.

"_Cherie_, you still mad at me?"

She said some words that made her feelings toward Remy quite clear. So she wasn't happy with him. Which was ludicrous. He had blown the head off the Statue of Liberty for her.

If that wasn't love (or lust), he didn't know what was.

"Roguey, when you gonna come outta the bathroom and crawl into bed wit' ol' Remy? I miss you."

She grunted from within her bathroom, which connected to her room.

"You been in there forever," he whined, his gaze glued droopily to the ceiling.

"Swamp Rat, what you did today was probably one of the dumbest things you have ever done in your dumb existence."

"So I've been told."

"I didn't think that if I told you to do it, you would actually be brazen enough to do it."

"You said that once before."

"I didn't make that promise thinkin' you would do it."

"I've been told that, too."

"However." There was the sound of footsteps followed by the bathroom door closing. "I am a lady of my word. I don't break promises, not matter how crazy."

He turned to look at Rogue. And then his eyes bulged. Because she stood there, in nothing but her underwear.

And pink knee high socks.

Remy LeBeau was not a man who exaggerated. He also went to great lengths to get what he wanted.

And it always paid off in the end.


End file.
